Monday, May 15, 2006
The "real" Mother's Day post
Alright, so here was the best story from Mother's Day. Last night I censored myself, but thought better of it today. It's my journalistic duty to share this.
We had a softball game yesterday. We were short players, so luckily Mason agreed to be strapped into his stroller the entire game. Between innings he kept giving me the "stinky" sign by pinching his nose. Great, I thought...you'll just have to wait.
After the game, I took him out of the stroller and as he turned around I saw some dirt on the back of his knee. Oh wait, that's not dirt. And, no, he didn't sit in anything, that's coming from the inside of his shorts. I instinctly started breathing out of my mouth.
There's not really any place to change a baby on a softball field, but knew that we could adapt. I went to the car to get the diaper, wipes and a new pair of shorts. "There's the diaper," I thought. Now, the wipes and change of clothes. What? No wipes, no change of clothes?
I found a paper towel. That's close.
I saw him playing with his sister on a vacant softball field, asked him to lay down and soon remembered that fiber-filled glass of juice that he had downed earlier. It was all coming back to me. Really.
The paper towel wasn't much help. By this time, the sun had caked the smelly substance to the back of his leg. The parts that the shorts had been covering were still fresh and mushy. Sorry, but it's true and you need to know it because you can imagine what happened when that bare little bottom came in contact with the freshly-mowed grass. "The shorts are already a mess," Cindy said to me. So, double-teaming him, we used whatever we could to wipe off the major substances.
Nobody told Kenzie (who has a very sensitive gag reflex) to stay upwind. Yes, you guessed it, she began vomiting in center field. The full-on wretching, gushing type.
Finally we headed to the bathroom and doused Mason with cold water and liquid soap. Luckily they had a hand-dryer/blower too. It all worked out. But, really, Happy Mother's Day. And, thank God we don't have to play a game on that field.
We had a softball game yesterday. We were short players, so luckily Mason agreed to be strapped into his stroller the entire game. Between innings he kept giving me the "stinky" sign by pinching his nose. Great, I thought...you'll just have to wait.
After the game, I took him out of the stroller and as he turned around I saw some dirt on the back of his knee. Oh wait, that's not dirt. And, no, he didn't sit in anything, that's coming from the inside of his shorts. I instinctly started breathing out of my mouth.
There's not really any place to change a baby on a softball field, but knew that we could adapt. I went to the car to get the diaper, wipes and a new pair of shorts. "There's the diaper," I thought. Now, the wipes and change of clothes. What? No wipes, no change of clothes?
I found a paper towel. That's close.
I saw him playing with his sister on a vacant softball field, asked him to lay down and soon remembered that fiber-filled glass of juice that he had downed earlier. It was all coming back to me. Really.
The paper towel wasn't much help. By this time, the sun had caked the smelly substance to the back of his leg. The parts that the shorts had been covering were still fresh and mushy. Sorry, but it's true and you need to know it because you can imagine what happened when that bare little bottom came in contact with the freshly-mowed grass. "The shorts are already a mess," Cindy said to me. So, double-teaming him, we used whatever we could to wipe off the major substances.
Nobody told Kenzie (who has a very sensitive gag reflex) to stay upwind. Yes, you guessed it, she began vomiting in center field. The full-on wretching, gushing type.
Finally we headed to the bathroom and doused Mason with cold water and liquid soap. Luckily they had a hand-dryer/blower too. It all worked out. But, really, Happy Mother's Day. And, thank God we don't have to play a game on that field.
Subscribe to Posts [Atom]
Post a Comment